Hot summer days
January 10, 2013 | Category: mood, ordinary days, Uncategorized
Hot, hotter and even hotter still. That has been our weather for the last several days and the forecast for the rest of this week. Sunday is set to be the worst so far and I am not looking forward to it at all. We have been sweating it out and trying to stick to indoors as much as possible, even while the kids complain and say that it isn’t too hot to go out and play with friends. I don’t know how they can want to go outside at all, let alone run around or ride their bikes like maniacs and enjoy it; I feel like all I want to do is lay under a fan and laze about. Of course lazing about isn’t at all practical, and I’m thankful I suppose that this heat has been allowing me to dry at least 3 loads of laundry a day. On and off the line in just an hour or two and smelling deliciously like sunshine.
Today Piper and I cooled off in our little outdoors tub in the late afternoon, when the sun had finally dropped a little lower and the heat wasn’t quite so overwhelming. Piper is a little merbaby; she absolutely adores being in the water (pool, bath, outside bath, shower, she isn’t picky), splashing around and trying to dunk her head under while I struggle to keep her from achieving just that, or sucking the drops of water off her hands and fingers.
Joined by two happy big sisters for a splash. Bit of a squish, but totally fun.
Natsumi was at the vet today so we could ensure there would be no more little ahh… kitten accidents again. These little guys have all started stealing her food and while she was gone we set out a bit of cat food in case they were hungry. At one stage they all came trouping down the hallway, and three out of the four were just covered, and I mean covered, allover their little faces and paws with food! Took them a couple of hours to clean themselves and each other up again.
Typical Aussie kid, cooling off in the sprinkler.
Preparing to sew up Piper’s birthday crown. I keep pulling everything out and then just sitting there staring at it. I can’t bring myself to start sewing things together because then it will make this birthday all the more real, this big milestone that is approaching so fast, way too fast. And really, it isn’t even that I’m sad she will be One. I’m not. At all (okay maybe a little). It’s hard to put into words exactly what I’m feeling, and why I’m feeling it. But Piper is baby #6. Which means, truly, she is probably our very last. And so much of me, so much of who I am and what I am is wrapped up in being more or less pregnant every other year, always having a little one around, or anticipating the little life that would be joining our family soon. Who am I without that? I don’t know. Really, I just don’t even know. My heart hurts when I think about never holding another one of our newborns again, never leaning in close, nose to sweet scalp, inhaling deeply of that incredibly addictive fresh newborn scent. And when I think about it my throat starts to close up and my eyes start to burn and I have to quickly shut it down, shut those feelings down because otherwise I’ll just look like a crazy person, because I have been amazingly, undeservedly blessed with six kids and why should I be sad to never have another? That just sounds insane.
Sigh.
My husband and I will never say “never” for a few reasons. But it just feels like this might be it. And so I just want to cling on to this baby stage, this probably-maybe-might-very-well-be last baby stage ever, with both hands.
xox Amanda
Tags: cute kitten photos, hot summer days, kittens, photoblog, summer
7 Comments
Leave a Reply
I know exactly what you mean Amanda. I still look at babies & wish for "just one more". That tiny baby phase just sucks me in. They're so perfect when they're that little. Oh well, I'll just have to concentrate on how blessed I am to have the 4 wonderful boys I have, even if the biggest will be 17 in a couple of weeks. I'm getting old! Take care xxx
Amanda, I know you love your kids and love being a mum. But I also remember you griping about morning sickness and your enormous tummy when you've been expecting. (Not that that stopped you taking a photo of you with one of the girls cuddling your bare round tum – one day I hope you'll bring that one back out of storage) And I remember fretting at you about wanting more kids, and jokingly threatening to buy a chastity belt for you. Above all, I remember the one that didn't come, the reason why I created this – http://alanralph.deviantart.com/art/Remembrance-O… – and you this – http://kittynn.deviantart.com/art/Babies-Bear-624…
*sigh* I know I can't really sway your or Matt if you want another baby. My biggest concern now is that you be able to enjoy all of the time you have with all of your children, and be able to give them all the love and support that you can.
{hug} Best wishes and love from grey wet England,
Alan
Aw Alan, I'm amazed you remember that
I've actually had two miscarriages (one before Isaiah, one before Zoe). I don't enjoy being pregnant – but I do enjoy having children 
I remember your comments back then hahaha. I think you said something about my stomach would hit the ground?! LOL. Thing is, I spend more time with my kids than a lot of people with only one or two do 
But anyway, that is neither here nor there so far as this post (and those feelings) are concerned.
Too old, too crap.
THat image isn't coming out of storage
Send some of that grey weather my way, I'd gladly trade you for a day or two!
That is it exactly huh! The tiny babies sucker us in hehe. I bet that 17 years went by in a blink… !
Funny how I can remember stuff in online conversations from ages ago, but I'm terrible at remembering people's names in the real world. *facepalm*
It was the picture of you in the bathtub with Piper that reminded me of the 'Manda-melon' photo.
love love love these fantastic
Your outdoor tub is fabulous! I love it! And can I just say, gosh, you look fantastic – sun-kissed and all! I fear I'd look like a ghost in my bathers (who would know my skin is actually "olive" anymore). And although we're just at the start of growing our family, I think there is a grief of sorts all mamas feels when their babies begin to tranision into those little people, and we wonder "why didn't I stop and soak in your newborn smells more… and just be contented to drink you in" – it all goes by so quickly, and I know I for one, rush ahead (mentally, physically, emotionally) all too often. I really think becoming a mother has been another way for the Lord to tell me to slow down, still, wait on Him, delight in the present (if that makes any sense) xx